Chili from The Dark Side

The Milwaukee Public Market is hosting their annual chili and beer tasting event February 26. Last year, I incorporated Black Garlic into a recipe and came up with my famous Dark Side Chili.

For those who don’t know, black garlic is made from aged and fermented garlic bulbs. It’s also made here in Wisconsin! Think of it as super-caramelized garlic. It adds a delicious and obscure flavor to my chili.

 

This recipe utilizes every dark ingredient I could find: Black Garlic, Black Pepper, Hawaiian Black Sea Salt, Ebony Cocoa, Dark Molasses, Black Beans, and Black Angus Beef.

It’s crucial to get into a shadowy mood before making this dish, so I put on my Darth Vader helmet and start cooking.

My wife sees me and says, “You can’t see a thing with that on.” I use a simple Jedi mind trick to convince her that it keeps my eyes from watering while I chop the onion. As I walk about the kitchen, I am suddenly struck by an invisible force field!

My wife sees me on my rear end and says, “See, I told you. You walked right into the wall. Now take that off before you really hurt yourself.” I grab her hand as she helps me up. The force is strong with this one.

My wife asks when the chili will be ready. I tell her “I’m a Sith Lord and can heat a pot of chili in mere seconds with just my lightsaber.” She rolls her eyes and hands me a lightsaber that happens to look just like a toilet brush and says, “I’ll finish the chili Lord Kutka, why don’t you clean the throne?” The force is strong with her. I grab the brush…leaving the chili to simmer for an hour.

The chili is almost ready after a fraction of a parsec. I grab two sour cream tubs and hold them near my ears and say, “Look, I’m princess Leia.” My wife tells me to grow up, but she’s smiling. I walk closer, look her in the eyes, and in my best Darth Vader voice I say, “Linda, I am your husband.” She replies, “Please don’t remind me.” She’s still smiling.

My Dark Side Chili is finally done and I crank the The Imperial March theme on the stereo as I serve. “Turn that off and put on some decent dinner music,” my wife says, but she’s smiling again.


Mike Kutka is manager at our Milwaukee Public Market location. When he’s not developing winning blend formulas, like for Vulcan’s, you can find Mike fishing or stirring up something amazing in his slow cooker.

 

 

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